Today I am thankful to just be where I am. When we decided to open the door to the possibility of moving, and prayed for the “right” outcome, I really didn’t know what that would be. I was having trouble deciding on my own. And now that all is said and done, and I find myself back in Nebraska (which I promised myself would never happen!), I am really at peace and content with the situation.
Sure, it’s difficult on those days that seem to be filled with more screaming than smiles, and I would love to have someone else around to take turns with diaper changes. But I believe where we’re at is best for all of us. Lloyd’s been working long days (as usual), and I am even more convinced now that going to California with him would have resulted in more stress. He wouldn’t be able to focus on his work as well, and I would probably become resentful of his time spent working, rather than spent with us. I think it would have been bad for business and family.
And had I stayed in Texas, I’m sure things would be manageable, but there have been many positives to being in York. I used to dread going to the grocery store just because it was such a big ordeal. I’d figure on at least half an hour just for commute and loading/unloading of the children, and at least an hour for the shopping part. The other night I went shopping here and the total trip time was 45 minutes—not even long enough to make my kids fussy!
Even though it was a bit of an ordeal to move, the change of venue has been good mentally, as well. Had we stayed in our house (which I do miss, especially after the awesome paint job in Emma’s room), it would seem more empty because we were used to having Lloyd there. Here, everything is new again. There is no feeling of a physical void since Lloyd hasn’t been here. I don’t know if that makes sense, but if you’ve ever been split up from someone, doesn’t it always seem like the one left at home misses the other person more than the one having the “adventure”? This way we’re both having an adventure, and while we miss each other, there’s enough of a distraction in the newness that so far it really hasn’t been too bad.
Of course I miss my friends in Texas, but I’m also enjoying reuniting with friends I left behind. I feel like every negative has been overpowered by a positive, and at the end of the day I’m enjoying life as it is right now. Five years ago I would not have predicted the things that have happened in our lives through now, and so I’m curious and excited to see what another five years will bring. This period of our lives will be like a blip—a good story to tell down the road. So I’m thankful for good decisions, and I hope we will continue to choose wisely.
The Daring Kitchen
Oh the grocery store ordeal!! Sometimes I have such longing for Grand Central. Sure you might not be able to get all the selection you can at HEB, but boy it’s fast and stress-free!
Good blog!