Originally, I intended to use my Friday posts for some potentially controversial topics, but so far I really haven’t delved into any. So I’m starting now. And I’m not writing this in order to say I’m right and you’re wrong, but really just because I want to state my opinion; what’s right for me. I’m not big on getting into deep discussions with my friends unless I’m specifically asked my opinion, so here I have complete reign on what gets said, and I’d like to take my turn to speak. That being said, I know many will disagree with me, and that’s just fine. I’d love it if everyone saw things the way I do, but I know that’s not realistic. And if these posts generate more discussion in my personal life, then great! Understand: I am NOT making a judgement of you in thinking about something differently.
To the point. Today I am not opening up a discussion on the pro-life/pro-choice debate, so don’t worry. I feel like that’s been overdone, but if you’d like my opinion, then ask me some time. Today I am getting on my soapbox over birth control. When I first started thinking about writing this I was struck for the first time by the term “birth” control itself. Really, that’s what we’re controlling, right? We don’t want a birth, and in fact, when we use the term birth control we are typically referring to the hormonal method, or The Pill, which stops birth, not conception. So that’s what I want to talk about.
A little history on me and my journey to my opinions: I don’t really remember ever having a talk about things like sex and babies and birth control as a young girl. I was pulled out of every sex ed class offered through school and instead my mother would have a little homeschooling session on some other exciting topic—like rocks (seriously!). I do remember the one time my mother tried to have The Talk with me, and in response to her question, “Is there anything you want to know?” I recall saying, “Not really. I mean, if Adam and Eve could figure it out, I’m pretty sure I can.” And that was the end of her attempts (unless I’ve just mentally blocked out the actual talk; suppose that’s possible).
Once in high school health class, I was finally allowed to learn the basics of how things worked. At that point it was just like any other homework, though—learn the terms for the test and then forget about it. I never watched any awkward cartoons explaining things, and I never underwent any television-stereotypical banana/condom exercise. So I pretty much filled in all the blanks through my friends and television.
When I got engaged I did the typical (well, I’m guessing it’s typical) medical exam and blood test (although I was a virgin, the whole thing just made me nervous, and I had this secret fear that somehow that test would reveal some awful STD, and then nobody would believe me that I had never had sex), and then I had some time alone with the doctor where she brought up birth control pills, and I just nodded like a bobble-head and listened as she told me what to do. I got a couple free samples and I was on my way. There may have been some passing remarks made about it between my parents and me, but there was no discussion, and certainly no suggestion that I should do anything else.
So I began taking the little pills every day, and I really don’t recall there being much difference in anything about me when I first started taking it. It certainly didn’t have the magical skin-clearing effects I was hoping for, and everything else happened about the same, except that it was like clockwork. No, I didn’t notice any changes until after we were married. And then Lloyd noticed them too.
Some nights I would lay on the couch and cry for hours. Other nights I would yell and scream at Lloyd for small, ridiculous reasons. My moods were about as predictable as the weather (when have you known the weatherman to be right?). It was weird. I was myself, but I had this sense of being out of control, and of watching myself and wondering who the crazy woman was. I had once talked with a camp counselor about her similar experience with birth control, and just like her, I decided changing the way my body works was not the solution for me. I know there are different levels of hormones and doctors advocate just finding the one that works for you, but I was done, and I was ready to start thinking for myself . . .
Now you know the beginning of my story. I’ll let you know my discoveries next time!
Tags: birth control, contraceptive, hormones, sex, The Pill
The Daring Kitchen
That craziness you experience on the pill is what I experience when I’m not on it. It allows me to function normally both physically and mentally, thanks to being hormonally challenged.
Yeah, for me crazy mood swings just served as a catalyst to get me thinking about something I had never even thought of questioning before. But I totally recognize that there can also be a good function for hormones, and even considered trying them again after the havoc the birth of III has caused. Really, my problem with the pill is its use as a contraceptive.
I am curious to hear the rest of this story and your opinions. I was on the pill off and on for years. It has messed with my fertility in some serious ways. I last used the pill 2 years ago and only just in the last month have I regained my normal cycles. though sadly, like Em, without the pill, I have the crazy mood swings. Darned if I do , Darned if I don’t.