I’ve written before on my compulsive-perfectionist tendencies, and with those, comes a lot of anger when things don’t go as I planned, or as I think they should. It’s a bit ridiculous, but when I have a set order-of-operations that gets destroyed, I kind of snap. Even though I don’t like to admit it, it’s clear to me who Emma gets her attitude from when she goes into a tailspin instantly upon learning of a tiny change in the way she was expecting her day to go.

I’ve gotten a little better with some things. I usually have an idea in my head for how my day will go, and let’s say I have it in my mind that we will have dinner, watch a movie, put the kids to bed, and then read before going to bed around 11. Then a friend calls and says, “Hey, you wanna come grill out and play games?” My mind implodes a little. I desperately want to stick to the plan. It’s all perfect in my mind. But I like my friends, too. Used to be I would either stick to my plan and decline the socializing, or I would go but be incredibly stressed about the whole ordeal.

I know it’s ridiculous. And I’m improving. Once we moved to Texas and the opportunities to socialize lessened considerably, I found it easier to change plans on the fly for the sake of seeing other people. And I learned that just because I thawed hamburger to make tacos tonight doesn’t mean I can’t just make them tomorrow instead. I actually can. A bit freeing, actually.

But my temper is still present. And instead of being spread about in lots of changes to plans, it seems to bottle up and come to the surface for one particular change: unexpected shortened sleep period. By this I mean I get incredibly angry when my son wakes up earlier than he typically does, or naps for a shorter time than I know he needs (and I need!). I have plans for that nap time. I have certain things that I want to do that can only be best done without a whiny little thing crawling around my feet.

Earlier this week we had such an incident. It was partially caused by a fit-throwing 4-year-old who, for some reason, was staunchly opposed to going to the bathroom on her own, so I was already upset that she was being unreasonable, and then compounded on that was that her noise woke her brother after a very short nap. Mama was MAD. Instantly. Now, logically, I am well aware that my behavior is uncalled for and pretty immature. So this time I actually let logic lead the way a little. I still felt angry, but I chose to sweetly pick up my son and hug him, and then I plopped him on the floor in Emma’s room and told her to play with him. I then shut the door and left.

No yelling. No screaming. But I was still angry.

Knowing I needed to do something, and that taking it out on my kids was uncalled for, I took it out on my toilet. And sink. And bathtub. It needed a cleaning anyway, and I got it done in record time. By the time I finished cleaning the bathroom, I had expended all my anger energy, and was even in a better mood, as my bathroom was all nice and sparkly clean. And the kids were still happily playing together.

So, anger works! It works a whole lot harder than obligation or guilt, too. Now, I’m not saying you should just relish in constant anger so you can clean more efficiently, but everyone gets angry sometimes. And I found that cleaning is an awesome way to use that. So next time you’re angry—especially over something you can’t control—instead of yelling, or seething, consider cleaning.

Tweet This Post