As a kid, I was in the Girl Scouts and played soccer. That was it. So the only fundraising I remember doing was selling cookies, and I really don’t even remember doing that. I mean, I can remember sitting in at a Brownies meeting in our elementary school’s gymnasium, and being given a form to take forth and sell with. I also remember them enticing us with all the prizes we could win, and while feeling dreamily hopeful that the one super-seller would be me, there was also this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that was telling me I was going to let the whole troop down if I didn’t sell hundreds of boxes of cookies.
It was stressful. That’s what I remember. And I know I never won any prizes. I never knocked on any doors, or sat outside grocery stores pleading with complete strangers to buy some cookies. I’m thinking I got this anti-fundraising attitude from my parents, because really, how do children ever raise funds unless their parents are helping them do it? It probably also would have helped to have two parents who worked in offices where they could leave the form sitting on the break room table for anybody to order from, but I think my mom only worked with five other people, and my dad was in school (and I can’t really see him being the type to pass around cookie order forms).
Anyway, in getting Emma involved early in activities (in this case, dance), we have also gotten her involved in fundraising. On the one hand, I wanted to simply toss it aside, but on the other, I’m a saver, and I wanted her to raise a little money because that means a little less that I have to fund myself. The money goes toward their costumes, which weigh in at a ridiculous cost of sixty-five dollars. Roughly. No wonder I never did anything fun as a child. I recognize that there are teachers to pay, and buildings to keep running, but spending all this money on Emma really makes me jealous, especially when she still can’t even hop on one foot. Couldn’t my money be better spent on something more useful—like new shoes??
Anyway, their brilliant fundraising scheme is selling candles. Candles. They come in 2 sizes and 7 scents. That’s it. Don’t get me wrong, I like having a few candles around, and I’m thinking of investing in more just in case our country comes under nuclear attack and all our power is wiped out and the only source of light available will be by candle (well, fire in general), but it’s not the greatest fundraising item. I think they need to diversify. Throw in some candy or at least something edible.
At first we ignored the fundraising because it seemed annoying that she could only sell candles, and I didn’t know who to sell them to. I have about 1 friend (who did buy a candle), and the only other time I see people is at church, but we couldn’t sell there because there is another little girl that goes to the same dance school and she already hit everybody up. Granted, a few well-placed eyelash flutters probably could have gotten Emma few sales, but I just didn’t want to pimp my daughter out like that.
So. Finally, the day the order forms were due, I decided we’d make one little visit to Daddy’s office (even though there is a mother of a dancer in that office, too), but I insisted Emma must do the asking (which really was sort of silly because I don’t think she really gets the concept or understands the relevance of raising the money. No matter what, she knows she will still get a costume, so why worry, right?). We practiced a little speech, and she seemed ready to go. We even talked about Daddy’s friends in the office specifically, so that she would know who she was going to talk to.
First up was Lloyd’s boss, who Emma is typically very chatty to. Suddenly, she locked up. Wouldn’t show him the flyer, wouldn’t even get out from behind my legs. Not even a smile. Some salesman she turned out to be. So then we moved on to one of the ladies in the office, and Emma did a complete about-face! She walked right up, held out the flyer, and said, “Would you like to buy a candle? I’m selling them so I can get a costume for my dance class.” And she smiled. Who can say no to that?? She made her first sale. (I might also point out that before Emma could open her mouth, her wonderful father prefaced with, “This is really the most horrible thing ever. You shouldn’t buy anything. It’s overpriced and just ridiculous and useless. Really, why couldn’t they sell something people actually want?” so she had some odds to overcome, too.)
Total she sold 5 candles. Not incredibly impressive, but it did save me 25 bucks. And reminded me how obnoxious fundraising is. Whether it’s a car wash, a bake sale, or some catalog of chocolate, it’s still no fun . . . which is probably why I say yes to every poor child who asks me to help them out.
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The Daring Kitchen
