Posts Tagged ‘Emma’

How To Not Get Old

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

I’m not sure Emma quite understands the concept of getting old, but here’s what she has to say on how not to get old, or die.

“When you get old, you die. But you have to take medicine so you’re not old. That’s the only way. You’ll have to take medicine when you’re old so you don’t die. And then you won’t be old either.”

Tell me about the medicine.

“You have to have a fruit kind. And you have to drink it. You can get it at Wal-Mart. When you drink it, then you have  to stop drinking it when you don’t feel old then. You have to try to drink medicine really fast before you die when you’re old.”

How much does it cost? How does it work?

“Probably like three dollars. You have to get just a teeny bit and pour the medicine in and then you drink it.”

So how come people still die?

“They die because they have other things that the medicine doesn’t work on. Like some people are already died when they try to get up. And they’re somewhere else so they can’t get up and get their medicine. When they try to get up, their bodies pump back down.”

Is there anything else we should be doing?

“You should go to the doctor. And lay down on the bed. Go like 3 or 4 times. Try to not be so sick and try and not get sick when you’re old.”

And finally, what do you think about the new healthcare bill?

“That’s pretty funny!”

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Tiny Tweets #6

Tuesday, February 16th, 2010

Today I only bring you two weird sayings from Emma, but also something new and exciting: a video! She sings so many songs throughout the day that I’m always wanting to share, so today I convinced her to sing for the camera. Sorry I don’t have time to go through and subtitle it. I think you should still understand some words, though. Later I may update it with some “lyrics.”

Tweets:

“Brother ruined my life. He was looking at me.”

“Timmy Tactales is a girl. She’s in the moon and has pretty high heels.”

Songs by Emma:

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The Snow Princess

Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

Most days lately all I want to do is give my children away. I question why it is I ever desired to be a mother, and I fantasize about going to a job every day and being able to make money and feel like a member of society. But one day last week I was reminded why I do want to be a mother, and why it really wouldn’t be that awesome to have to go to work for the Man (despite the fact that I could fund my shopping addiction).

It snowed. A beautiful, glorious, slow-falling, chunky snow. It wasn’t windy, and it wasn’t so cold that you felt yourself freeze down to your bones. And along with the miracle of the day, III actually fell asleep for a nap, so Emma and I got all bundled up and headed out to make some tracks in the untampered snow of the back yard. We made some nice stompy footprints and then decided to make a snow man.

But as Emma was stomping around with her pink princess umbrella, she thought it would be much cooler if we could make a Princess Aurora out of snow, just like the Aurora on the handle of her umbrella. I laughed at first, thinking it was impossible, but then I remembered she’s just a kid. Nothing is impossible. Why not have a snow princess? I knew it wasn’t likely to be pretty or perfect, but it might be fun to try. And that’s what we did. Emma helped me roll the snow around the yard to make a nice big ball and then I attempted to shape it into a more skirt-like figure.

Then we made her upper body, a neck, and a head. When it came time for arms and hair, though, I was stumped. I tried to make some arms and ended up knocking her head off in the process, and I was completely clueless as to how to fashion long princess hair. So we stopped there. Emma created a crown, which we placed on top, and she was perfectly satisfied (and honestly, I think I had lost her attention by this point anyway). We stuck some purple Sweet Tarts on for eyes, a carrot for a nose (may not be very princess-like, but ever since we bought the carrots Emma

was begging to make a snow man in order to give it a carrot nose), and some strawberry Laffy Taffy for the mouth. We wrapped a scarf around her and she was ready to go!

Some days it’s hard to be a parent, and some days there are rewards that really are better than a fat paycheck. Instead of having to sit in an office somewhere, I got to play in the snow. I didn’t have to do it alone, and while I felt like a bit of a dork trying to build a snow princess, I was a pretty cool mom in Emma’s eyes. And then I got to teach her how to make snow angels! I can’t ever be a kid again; I can’t ever know what it is to not have concern for what I’m going to make for dinner, or where the money’s coming from that pays for dinner, but I can feel a glimpse of that first joy and the excitement of discovery through my kids. I don’t have to completely grow up.

And I’m going to have these kids with me for a while, but not forever. So I’m trying to slow it down and take the time to be silly and get cold and messy. And when Emma is in hysterics over something ridiculous, or III is awake at 4 in the morning, I’m really going to try to accept the bad with the good. Because one day they’ll both be too cool for me; they won’t want to make snow sculptures in the back yard with me, or give me big, slobbery kisses.

Now, if someone could just tell me how to accept the bad without losin’ it . . .

Aurora in progress. (Notice the umbrella in the left corner)

Emma and Aurora

My *angel*

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Tiny Tweets #5 (Roughly)

Tuesday, February 9th, 2010

Just a few for you today. Emma hasn’t been as cute lately; or maybe I’m not paying as much attention to her rambling.

“Ahh! Mom, I’m layin’ on my brain!”

“I’m deflating down into my body.”

“But I don’t have a heart.” (sad face)

“I miss Daddy. I miss being able to touch him.” (Upon further questioning, she explained that she really just wanted to give Daddy a hug.)

“Oh! I’m fallin’! I’m fallin’ in love!”

“I think when he’s older brother will want to marry me.” Why? “Because I’m a cute pigtail girl.” And later, with a ring box in hand: “Brother, will you marry me?” (Guess it runs in the family; we’ve had a long-standing joke about my brother asking for a baby sister so he could marry her.)

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Tiny Tweets

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

I meant to be keeping track of Emma sayings again, but I haven’t been doing a very good job at it. Here are the only three I have:

“Mom, are we real people?”

(While playing Wii Fit) “No, I don’t want to work out any more. I’m gettin’ sweaty from workin’ out.”

(Her bedtime prayer) “Once upon a time . . .  Oops.”

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Better Late Than Never?

Thursday, January 14th, 2010

So, funny story about last month’s baking challenge; well,  not really very funny at all, but I’ll at least let you know what happened. I planned in advance to have my challenge done before Christmas and the ensuing chaos. So, my little helper Emma and I started on the 22nd I believe, and finished on the 23rd. My intention was to immediately write my post and just schedule it for a later date. Guess that didn’t happen—but I did finish the challenge early! So here I am now, sharing (to the best of my memory) my gingerbread house experience.

The December 2009 Daring Bakers’ challenge was brought to you by Anna of Very Small Anna and Y of Lemonpi. They chose to challenge Daring Bakers’ everywhere to bake and assemble a gingerbread house from scratch. They chose recipes from Good Housekeeping and from The Great Scandinavian Baking Book as the challenge recipes.

I chose to use the Good Housekeeping recipe for the same reason as Anna: it was simple and I already had the ingredients. We decided to mix our ingredients at night, and bake and assemble the next day. So, first I mixed my brown sugar, cream and molasses in one bowl, and the flour, baking soda and ginger in another bowl. Emma was very adamant about helping with this challenge, so the mixing took us quite a while, especially once we combined the bowls.

Here are our two bowls of mixed ingredients.

Here are our two bowls of mixed ingredients.

Here Emma is proud of our mixed gingerbread dough

Here Emma is proud of our mixed gingerbread dough

Also, I had heard from my friend’s experience with this challenge that the recipe made a LOT of gingerbread, so I halved the recipe, and then divided it into two discs to chill in the fridge. The next day I took it out and began beating it into submission in order to roll it out. Anna suggested using dowels or rulers on either side of the dough as a guide for thickness, and in hindsight, I really should have gone to the trouble. But instead, with my usual whatever attitude, I just guessed.

I also just whipped up a template for the house, as many of the ones online seemed like too much work, and besides, Emma had decreed that we were to have a gingerbread cabin, not house. So I guessed on a template, and here it is:

Our cabin template, in pretty pink and green

Our cabin template, in pretty pink and green

I had a little bit of trouble with cracking, but overall, the gingerbread was pretty manageable. I should have made it thicker, though. Anyway, after cutting out the pieces, I decided to score them before they cooked so they would have a little bit of a log look to them. Then I scored the chimney pieces to look like brick. This whole process took me quite a bit of time, but other than Emma getting bored and then becoming slightly obnoxious, there were no major disasters, so that was nice.

Here are two sides and parts of the chimney cooking

Here are two sides and parts of the chimney cooking

And here are all the finished pieces

And here are all the finished pieces

I didn’t have time to assemble right away like I thought I would, but I roughly held the pieces together when they came out of the oven to see if they would all fit together. They sort of did, so I figured that would be good enough. I did end up remaking part of the chimney, as one side came out really warped, but I had plenty of leftover gingerbread, so it was an easy fix.

I decided to go with the simple syrup, as I figured it would be stickier and easier. I have never boiled sugar before, and I really did not believe my eyes as it was happening. I put my sugar in the pan and started heating it, and was amazed when it started melting. Perhaps this seems like a simple thing to you, but seriously, I was incredulous that just sugar was turning into this goopy mess. And then it turned brown, which really confused and amazed me, as sugar is white. Anyway, I think I burned mine a little. I thought I was being careful, and as soon as it hit boiling I took it off the heat, but it continued to bowl on its own for like 5 minutes, and smelled horrible, so I guess this was one tiny part that didn’t go as planned. But then it turned sticky, so it was all ok.

This syrup was nuts. It was incredibly sticky and dried in an instant and was really hard. It was like hot glue except the usability window was even smaller. I just started throwing it on as fast as I could, despite any messes, figuring I could hide it all with icing later. So before I put on the last roof piece, here’s a picture of the messy inside:

Sugar and gingerbread

Sugar and gingerbread

It stuck together very nicely, and I didn’t need any other supports. Unfortunately, I got distracted with other things and never decorated my house, but I had still completed all the requirements of the challenge. After a few days of just sitting out, the syrup started to get sticky again and the gingerbread got soft (moisture in the air??), and I came in one morning to find part of the roof sliding off. I have no doubt that had I reinforced the whole thing with icing it would have lasted longer, but with the coming festivities, I wasn’t too disappointed. We enjoyed our cabin.

The almost-finished product

The almost-finished product

The final gingerbread cabin

The final gingerbread cabin

Emma at her wedding (this is what she did once she got bored)

Emma at her wedding (this is what she did once she got bored)

If you’d like the whole recipe, you can find it here!

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Teeny Tiny Tweets

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

I did not record any cute sayings this week, but these are a few things I remember the little miss saying:

Then the raccoon opens up and a butterfly comes out!

I was just playing a joke on Daddy last night when I told him I loved him.

I don’t love him at night because he says mean words. I only love him in the morning.

I LOVE Halloween! This is SO. MUCH. FUN!!! (really wish you could just hear her say it)

Can we go to the hospital again some time? Me: Why? So we can get a baby sister!

Me: If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Umm…to be a butterfly!? Cuz they’re like super powers, right? Sure…

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Homemade Halloween, Part I

Wednesday, October 28th, 2009

So I’m not big on the whole homemade clothing thing, but when it comes to Halloween costumes, I not only do not want to spend too much money on a mass-manufactured, overpriced, and cheaply made store-bought costume, but I also want my kids to be unique. It seems to me that Halloween is the one time where having something made just for you isn’t lame. It’s creative, right? Well, that’s how I remember it as a kid anyway. I remember one year being so proud that I had found this weird stick in the yard that had this hole through the middle of it, and we used it in my hair so I could go as Pebbles from the Flintstones. I don’t remember anything else about the costume, but I remember thinking the bone-like stick in my hair was awesome because nobody else would have that. Now, maybe it was lame, but I didn’t think so at the time, and so far my own kids aren’t complaining, so here’s my how-to on our Halloween costumes this year!

For the major part of this last year Emma has been saying she wanted to go as a big m&m for Halloween. I don’t know where she got the idea, but she seemed pretty fixed on it. Then one day she randomly decided she would much rather be a flower, so all my m&m plans were forgotten and I moved on to focusing on how I was going to create a flower. Of course, she wanted her face to be the middle of the flower, and she wanted the flower to be pink. I thought of a lot of dumb ideas, and then one day came across a costume in one of my magazines for the Queen of Hearts. This is relevant because the face of the little girl was surrounded by a giant heart—similar to how I needed the flower to be. So I stole the idea and decided to make the flower out of stiff felt (which I only vaguely knew existed before reading about this costume).

I looked at some pictures of flower costume designs, but as usual, decided to just wing it. I knew the flower needed a center piece to go around her little face, and then pink petals to surround it, so I bought a bunch of white and pink felt, and some green for leaves, and headed home. Then Emma and I sat down to watch Anastasia and create her flower. I started with the easiest part of cutting a circle in the center of my white felt. I cut it very small and then continually annoyed Emma by holding it up to her face to see if it fit yet, while cutting more and more out of it. Eventually we had a perfect little Emma-hole. Now I wasn’t sure what to do. It needed to be thick enough to support the petals, but the piece of felt was only so big. And for once, I got smart. I got out some paper, and made a little petal stencil. I wasn’t entirely smart for the next part, but I did get lucky. I started placing the petal on the felt and tracing around it to create my center flower petals. Fortunately, the size I chose ended up fitting perfectly around the Emma-hole, without having the last one being smushed. Then I cut it out.

Next, I used the small stencil to create a large stencil that still followed the same shape, and I cut out as many petals as I could from my remaining felt.  I had 7 petals to work with. Here are my supplies thus far:

halloween 001

Then I placed them how I wanted them around the flower, and once again got to bust out my new hot glue gun! I glued it all together, and was actually very pleased with it. I could have bought more felt and put one more petal at the bottom, but I had originally planned not to have petals down on her chest because I thought they would get in the way. Maybe it would be better with petals all around, but I still like it anyway. I then took some elastic (3/4 in. thick) and hot-glued it to one side, measured it around Emma’s head, and hot-glued it to the other side as well.

Her first time trying on the flower. She was very excited!

Her first time trying on the flower. She was very excited!

The leaves are basically the same process, except I procrastinated and was making them the night before she needed them, so I just free-handed the cutting out. I had originally planned to have leaves around her neck or maybe on her arms, but she’s so tiny, and the flower petals cover most of her neck, so instead we decided to make a Tinker Bell-like leaf skirt.  I cut, glued, and then added some white felt cut into strips as ties so it can be put on like an apron.

halloween 006

The worst part was the store-bought part. I thought for sure I could find some plain green pants and shirt, but I couldn’t! I had bought some plain pants with a matching top that had a little picture on the front that I thought the leaf-necklace would cover up, but since we made it a skirt that wouldn’t work. I had also found a plain long-sleeve shirt that she ended up wearing, but the green was really clashy with the green in the pants, so she’s just wearing some pajama shorts she had, which don’t really match either, but aren’t as obtrusive. Anyway, at the end of the day Emma was really happy with her costume, and that’s what matters!

The Little Flower

The Little Flower

As an end note, I think I spent maybe $4 on felt, $2 on elastic (which I also used in III’s costume), and $3.50 on the shirt (which she can wear normally), so I think it was worth it money-wise, too! Stay tuned for my little gnome . . .

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No Fun in Fundraising

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

As a kid, I was in the Girl Scouts and played soccer. That was it. So the only fundraising I remember doing was selling cookies, and I really don’t even remember doing that. I mean, I can remember sitting in at a Brownies meeting in our elementary school’s gymnasium, and being given a form to take forth and sell with. I also remember them enticing us with all the prizes we could win, and while feeling dreamily hopeful that the one super-seller would be me, there was also this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that was telling me I was going to let the whole troop down if I didn’t sell hundreds of boxes of cookies.

It was stressful. That’s what I remember. And I know I never won any prizes. I never knocked on any doors, or sat outside grocery stores pleading with complete strangers to buy some cookies. I’m thinking I got this anti-fundraising attitude from my parents, because really, how do children ever raise funds unless their parents are helping them do it? It probably also would have helped to have two parents who worked in offices where they could leave the form sitting on the break room table for anybody to order from, but I think my mom only worked with five other people, and my dad was in school (and I can’t really see him being the type to pass around cookie order forms).

Anyway, in getting Emma involved early in activities (in this case, dance), we have also gotten her involved in fundraising. On the one hand, I wanted to simply toss it aside, but on the other, I’m a saver, and I wanted her to raise a little money because that means a little less that I have to fund myself. The money goes toward their costumes, which weigh in at a ridiculous cost of sixty-five dollars. Roughly. No wonder I never did anything fun as a child. I recognize that there are teachers to pay, and buildings to keep running, but spending all this money on Emma really makes me jealous, especially when she still can’t even hop on one foot. Couldn’t my money be better spent on something more useful—like new shoes??

Anyway, their brilliant fundraising scheme is selling candles. Candles. They come in 2 sizes and 7 scents. That’s it. Don’t get me wrong, I like having a few candles around, and I’m thinking of investing in more just in case our country comes under nuclear attack and all our power is wiped out and the only source of light available will be by candle (well, fire in general), but it’s not the greatest fundraising item. I think they need to diversify. Throw in some candy or at least something edible.

At first we ignored the fundraising because it seemed annoying that she could only sell candles, and I didn’t know who to sell them to. I have about 1 friend (who did buy a candle), and the only other time I see people is at church, but we couldn’t sell there because there is another little girl that goes to the same dance school and she already hit everybody up. Granted, a few well-placed eyelash flutters probably could have gotten Emma few sales, but I just didn’t want to pimp my daughter out like that.

So. Finally, the day the order forms were due, I decided we’d make one little visit to Daddy’s office (even though there is a mother of a dancer in that office, too), but I insisted Emma must do the asking (which really was sort of silly because I don’t think she really gets the concept or understands the relevance of raising the money. No matter what, she knows she will still get a costume, so why worry, right?). We practiced a little speech, and she seemed ready to go. We even talked about Daddy’s friends in the office specifically, so that she would know who she was going to talk to.

First up was Lloyd’s boss, who Emma is typically very chatty to. Suddenly, she locked up. Wouldn’t show him the flyer, wouldn’t even get out from behind my legs. Not even a smile. Some salesman she turned out to be. So then we moved on to one of the ladies in the office, and Emma did a complete about-face! She walked right up, held out the flyer, and said, “Would you like to buy a candle? I’m selling them so I can get a costume for my dance class.” And she smiled. Who can say no to that?? She made her first sale.  (I might also point out that before Emma could open her mouth, her wonderful father prefaced with, “This is really the most horrible thing ever. You shouldn’t buy anything. It’s overpriced and just ridiculous and useless. Really, why couldn’t they sell something people actually want?” so she had some odds to overcome, too.)

Total she sold 5 candles. Not incredibly impressive, but it did save me 25 bucks. And reminded me how obnoxious fundraising is. Whether it’s a car wash, a bake sale, or some catalog of chocolate, it’s still no fun . . . which is probably why I say yes to every poor child who asks me to help them out.

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Emma-isms

Tuesday, September 29th, 2009

This post will be short and tweet sweet. I don’t have much material, and really need to be cleaning our house instead of writing! (What else is new?) So, here are some Emma thoughts:

During a discussion after Joy School on things from nature versus things made by man, Emma said, “Yeah, we did nature-made and man-made, but we didn’t do girl-made.”

“Daddy likes to make people hot outside.”

And when she told me I couldn’t sing along with the radio: “No, this one doesn’t have a boy and a girl. They’re not in love.”

Emma vocab: Twickled, as in, “The bunny’s nose twickled.”

And she has taken to calling me Mud, as in short for Mother, or Mudder

Last, as she is very proud of every time she poos, she also frequently includes descriptions for us (yes, this may be slightly inappropriate, but when you’re a parent you’ll understand):

“It was the teeniest poop ever. It looked like a round little baby head.”

“It’s a huge one. A snake one, but cut apart. And moldy.”

And on that note, have a splendid, twitterific Tuesday!

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