Most days lately all I want to do is give my children away. I question why it is I ever desired to be a mother, and I fantasize about going to a job every day and being able to make money and feel like a member of society. But one day last week I was reminded why I do want to be a mother, and why it really wouldn’t be that awesome to have to go to work for the Man (despite the fact that I could fund my shopping addiction).
It snowed. A beautiful, glorious, slow-falling, chunky snow. It wasn’t windy, and it wasn’t so cold that you felt yourself freeze down to your bones. And along with the miracle of the day, III actually fell asleep for a nap, so Emma and I got all bundled up and headed out to make some tracks in the untampered snow of the back yard. We made some nice stompy footprints and then decided to make a snow man.
But as Emma was stomping around with her pink princess umbrella, she thought it would be much cooler if we could make a Princess Aurora out of snow, just like the Aurora on the handle of her umbrella. I laughed at first, thinking it was impossible, but then I remembered she’s just a kid. Nothing is impossible. Why not have a snow princess? I knew it wasn’t likely to be pretty or perfect, but it might be fun to try. And that’s what we did. Emma helped me roll the snow around the yard to make a nice big ball and then I attempted to shape it into a more skirt-like figure.
Then we made her upper body, a neck, and a head. When it came time for arms and hair, though, I was stumped. I tried to make some arms and ended up knocking her head off in the process, and I was completely clueless as to how to fashion long princess hair. So we stopped there. Emma created a crown, which we placed on top, and she was perfectly satisfied (and honestly, I think I had lost her attention by this point anyway). We stuck some purple Sweet Tarts on for eyes, a carrot for a nose (may not be very princess-like, but ever since we bought the carrots Emma
was begging to make a snow man in order to give it a carrot nose), and some strawberry Laffy Taffy for the mouth. We wrapped a scarf around her and she was ready to go!
Some days it’s hard to be a parent, and some days there are rewards that really are better than a fat paycheck. Instead of having to sit in an office somewhere, I got to play in the snow. I didn’t have to do it alone, and while I felt like a bit of a dork trying to build a snow princess, I was a pretty cool mom in Emma’s eyes. And then I got to teach her how to make snow angels! I can’t ever be a kid again; I can’t ever know what it is to not have concern for what I’m going to make for dinner, or where the money’s coming from that pays for dinner, but I can feel a glimpse of that first joy and the excitement of discovery through my kids. I don’t have to completely grow up.
And I’m going to have these kids with me for a while, but not forever. So I’m trying to slow it down and take the time to be silly and get cold and messy. And when Emma is in hysterics over something ridiculous, or III is awake at 4 in the morning, I’m really going to try to accept the bad with the good. Because one day they’ll both be too cool for me; they won’t want to make snow sculptures in the back yard with me, or give me big, slobbery kisses.
Now, if someone could just tell me how to accept the bad without losin’ it . . .
Aurora in progress. (Notice the umbrella in the left corner)
Emma and Aurora
My *angel*
The Daring Kitchen
